Dear Family and Friends,
As most of you know, we air ambulanced home from India on January 30 after 5 weeks in hospitals in Nepal and India after John’s lungs were severely damaged by high altitude pulmonary edema and pneumonia trekking in the Himalayas. John spent a week at George Washington Hospital for evaluation, which was also a time for personal discernment and conversations with the family and doctors. Despite the hope that rehab and a lung transplant might be a possiblity, John knew that their was no “comeback” in his body and chose to come home with hospice to find life in dying well and savoring the time he has left with family and friends. At the moment, he is burning brightly with conversation and his inner reflections. It is a rich spiritual time.
He said Christmas came for him this years when he crossed the doorway into our home. Life is going on around him, from his perch in the living room and he is very much the center of our lives.
We have assembled our team. Jessica and Peter have been “rocks” and an incredible support to John and me. Antonio and Sofia reminds us constantly that life goes on and make us smile through our tears — and we watch new life forming before our eyes as Sara and Peter’s antiicipate the birth of their first child in April. We have a great nurse through hospice, Ousmane, originally from Senegal, who comes twice a week, and a home heath care worker, Amelia, originally from the Cameroon, who comes from 9:30 PM to 9:30 AM every night. John’s sister Lucy and his brother Tal, and my family have been here frequently. We have been inundated with people from all parts of John’s life coming to visit. John has touched many lives and we are touched by all who want to share some “last times” with him, with all the intensity that brings.
At first, John wanted to have an “open house” from 3-5 most days and wanted to schedule the visits. That is becoming too much. I am now the scheduler, so call or email me — not John’s cell or email. I am printing all your messages for John to read. Starting the beginning of February, I will be scheduling times with John on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 3-5, often in small groups. We may have to scale back more as his energy diminishes. Time is of the essence, so share what is on your heart and join John in these meaning-making conversations. Be sensitive when he is wearying, so he has some energy left for conversation with family in the evening.
Many have asked about how I am doing. Right now my focus is on John. The middle of the day is my time alone with him, often sitting next to him in his bed, and I am not answering telephones during those time.. Early morning, I go for a walk to get my bearings and do my grieving. At 3:00, I walk to pick up Antonio at school and we toss a ball on our way home. We have brought our bedtime reading down to the living room so Papa John can listen in. Several mornings and one afternoon a week, I am with Sofia between Jessica’s leaving for her internship and the arrival of the babysitter.. Evenings I am surrounded by my family, who are a great comfort and strength. I am also very moved by all the people reaching out and supporting us in so ways.
I will try to be in touch about once a week. I am not always able to read and respond to email daily, but I do get to all your notes in time and share them with John. My periodic messages to ALL will have to suffice for a while.
John joins me in sending his love and gratitude for all your support and caring,
Barbara Gerlach and John Mack
Posted on behalf of Barbara Gerlach (gerlachmack@erols.com).
You can also read John and Barbara’s story and leave messages at their CaringBridge site.
